Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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