LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
