New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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