Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
