How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
