I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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