It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
