Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
