Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
