ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
