I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
