I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
