I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
