Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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