You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
