If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
