so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
try to milk me bitch
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