So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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