i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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