Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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