i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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