i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His nipple licking is glorious
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