Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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