why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize