i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
