This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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