At least make sure they are 18
Why
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
