why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
