I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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