i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
