id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
