Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
