i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
