I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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