why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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