Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
