There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
