you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
