im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
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