He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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