Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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