Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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