Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
