she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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