bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
