I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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