do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
