so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
