i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
