porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
