Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
