did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
