he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
