dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
