i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
