I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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