Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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