I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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