Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just invented taco cereal.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
