and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
