I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize