even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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