Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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