im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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