I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
