Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
