All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
