Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
