You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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