So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
