420 ftw
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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