And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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