Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
