My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
