if i can run in heels then i can drive
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it glows. i had to have it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
