We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
