if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize